Because intense or not, were all people who deserve to be loved and understood. But thats okay, it also means you get to spend more time working through things that others would just glaze over. To me the message became: keep you under wraps. And you have zero tolerance for fakery. And you resent being told you shouldnt feel as much because theyre not real. Theyre real to you. A study published in PubMed showed that light at night markedly increases the growth of human breast cancer xenografts in rats. Why do I need to be less intense (to please others)? You expect people to do what they said they would do, and you always deliver on your promises in return. Art, music, dance, nature, and other forms of beauty speak to you on a soul-level. Hack Spirit is one of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice. 15 Best Personality Development Activities for Students, 13 Personality Traits of a Horrible Employee | Learnizia, How Does Personality Influence Leadership Style | Learnizia. Word choice is important to you, and you feel the nuances in every syllable you speak. Ever. 2. Not only does your house take on a softer, greener and more beautiful dimension, caring for plants is a very nurturing (hence feminine) role and watching them grow and thrive is hugely satisfying. They tend to lack the basic empathy that makes up a lot of our humility as individuals. Calm down. Thank you for reading. This means that you dont waste time on people who dont get you and you wont wait around for someone to realize your awesomeness. You may ask about kids and marriage on a first date even before the waiter brings drinks to the table. It could be seen as a negative quality if others perceive you as an intimidating person. Learn Which Types Are The Brainiest, 21 Soul-Crushing Signs He Is Not The One For You (Even If You Love Him), Guys, Dont Ignore These 17 Signs Of An Emotionally Immature Woman, 31 Ridiculous Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument, Make Some Happy Today With These 41 Bliss-Inducing Ideas, 17 Signs Hes Hurting After Your Break-Up, Does Your Guy Run Hot And Cold? "You're going to make yourself sick." This can intimate a lot of people who prefer to watch TV and let their mind melt. Having such a strong personality is usually OK, but we must be self-aware of what we are. Those who think you need to chill or mellow out arent your people. They make great mates. Have you ever been told youre too intense? People having a misinformed opinion is a big problem in the age of automated sensualized newsfeeds that are stuck in a bubble. And not something that I would have thought our male counterparts find particularly attractive. For most of my life. You hate ignorance and unexamined assumptions. You might be able to handle a conversation like this once in a while, but if this is everyday life for you, youre going to wind up resentful of the attention they are demanding from you but not giving back in return. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. Some would describe you as clingy. The way you see it, life is just better when your besties are near. You feel polluted when youre not completely and even painfully honest. While connection with kindred spirits is important (as set out in point 1 above) a connection with oneself is first and foremost paramount. Growing up, most of us heard adults talk about the right way to communicate and express ourselves. And having a group of kids together can be tiresome for many even, and maybe especially for, parents (amirite?). 8. Pearl Nash The Art of Softening (and the 10 ways that I have softened), blue light blocking filters on all their screens, I no longer own bathroom scales so I no longer weigh myself (because when you weigh yourself all you are weighing is your self esteem), I have no idea how much I weigh and I really dont care as the number is completely irrelevant to my health and happiness, I can look at myself in the mirror (which happens occasionally) and think how healthy and fit I look for my age having had 2 kids, I do not give a rats arse about thigh gaps or a 6 pack. Thats how damn important it is to me. Some people are extroverts, while others are painfully shy. And as females, if our very nature is to be soft and feminine, we can better connect with that side of us. It is more difficult to seek out people who you feel a connection with because you dont even know what you stand for or what makes you tick. Mincing words just feels icky. One of my close friends, recently summed up her realisation of her greatest frustration with herself: Ive hardened. However, those rules are frequently challenging to implement. Dont expect others (even those who love you) to get you all the time. For some people, it can stop them from living a full life. Perhaps you already suspect this, but you arent sure what it entails to be emotionally powerful. And those who see what youre like and cant handle it are free to move on. Bright lights, day and night, is all Ive known. This is especially true of men in relation to women: men say they want a deep and complex woman, but when it comes down to it, they just get scared off by the intensity of the womans personality. You dont feel a need to conform to someone elses idea of how you should be. My self chatter used to be like a war zone. Akin to someone playing really really loud music, or screaming in my ear. Sometimes, a child acting moody may lead someone to label them as intense. Fear is just another annoying emotion youve chosen to accept and move on from. Essential oils are what I call nature in a bottle. 3. You close up, and harden, to protect yourself. 11 Reasons Why And How To Handle It. Noting the temperature and sensation of drinking a hot cup of coffee. 10 Minute Wellness Activities You Can Do Anywhere. In a way, they are sensitive and absorb the emotions of others. Ignore their bad manners, just pay attention to the special points in their speech. If you identify as being intense, its important to remember that a lot of people may not know how to handle you. People who are more in touch with their feelings can naturally come across as too intense because they can tap into their emotions more easily and talk about them freely. Webfox news eric shawn political affiliation; the moment of truth denise and jeff; tesco microwave plate cover; mdta police recruitment Cold-hearted people are often very unsympathetic about other peoples problems or pain. Your entire personality appears more aggressive or at least harsher to them. You quickly find holes in arguments or positions and poke at them until they unravel. To harness that, when dealing with an intense person, dont compete with that or try to tamp it down. It wont work. Instead, roll with it. Understand that the person in front of you may be louder or seem more confident. If you show them respect and make a point to listen, youll often see a softer side. Unsurprisingly I had a horrific relationship with food -it would pervade my every waking (and often dream-state) thought to the point of becoming stressful and painful- and I would oscillate from binging to starving myself. A lack of consistency makes it difficult (if not impossible) to trust someone. Softening my view on my body image means that: Hallelujah sister! I was deeply unhappythen I discovered this one Buddhist teaching, How a regular guy became his own life coach (and how you can too), What J.K Rowling can teach us about mental toughness, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life, 11 traits people with big hearts all share, 10 things socially intelligent people always do, 10 personality traits of a bad boy all women secretly find irresistible, 10 signs youre a happy person who finds joy in everyday life, Are you an old soul? Softening into nutrition means that as much as I try to avoid gluten (even though I dont have the celiac gene), the occasional consumption of smallish amounts of sourdough bread is not something that I now flinch over at all (and I can tell you that there was a time at the start of my traditional wholefoods journey when for 2 solid years not a single grain ever passed my lips). You are who you are, and thats what makes you unique. Maybe once you were quick to let people in, but early experiences of betrayal or abuse have made you more cautious. Not only do such admonitions invalidate their passion, they invalidate the person's essence. Thats why you take the time to get to know someone. Im talking about when someone gets serious all the time. I need to (insert lame excuse to escape.)" Or how many reminded you of someone you know and love? Youd rather live with integrity and keep your complexity and depth about you. Hack Spirit. On the flip side, folks who are chill AF arent really in the business of changing the world for the better. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by Brown Brothers Media Pte. Staying Single: What Most People Do If They Divorce After 50. If you show them respect and make a point to listen, youll often see a softer side. So, theres zero payoff for appeasing them. 21. If someone is asking for more from a relationship than they are investing back into it emotionally, then you should take a step back from them and question what you are really getting out of it. You have nothing to be ashamed of, anyway. However, being fully aware of any potential setbacks will make the diagnosis much easier to handle. If you find yourself feeling drained or frustrated after spending time with a person, it could be that they are just too intense for you. As you can imagine, that behavior isnt always well-received. WebThey found a number of correlations between personality traits (as measured by the Big 5) and musical preference which replicated previous work. Has anyone ever told you youre too intense? If they arent your go to because you never know what mood theyll be in or you cant trust that they wont turn something into a drama, then its time to evaluate the influence they are having on your life and what, if any, positive impact they bring. You always establish direct eye contact. Every conversation must be meaningful and satisfying, or you feel cheated of your time and attention. If you work indoors, try to have your lunch outside in the sun and spend as much of your leisure time outdoors. These characteristics may benefit you and your journey of personal development and change. They can often be on the same page as those who are overly sensitive. Soft conveys weak, flaky, fluffy, flighty and ineffectual. 5: Show care and love for them despite their problematic personality traits. Yes, it may feel overwhelming but try to listen for valuable substance, not their style. That means that some people are going to take a step to the left when you blow through their world, but thats okay. I will never hang my hat on any one thing (as there never is one panacea), but since I started using Young Living essential oils daily (as face moisturiser with olive oil, to diffuse in the house, as a household cleaner, occasionally in my food, and on soles of my feet when Im feeling a bit sick) I have felt so much calmer, happier, and healthier. Those who expect you to tone it down 24-7 so they can be more comfortable around you arent going to accept you as you are, anyway. A beautiful yin counterbalance to my raging yang. A little goes a very long way. A healthy debate is good for your mind and for sharing and appreciating different points of view. topic outline of the golden age of comics Many people with intense emotions are highly gifted individuals with exceptional levels of empathy, intelligence, creativity, and imagination. On the other hand, those who are chill arent in the trade of changing this world positively. So when I set up my own house at 23 and right up until recently, on when bright lights, all over the house once it got even slightly dark. Dont expect others (even those you love) to always understand you. 4. Just because someone is intense doesnt mean you should avoid them, but its best to know what youre getting into. Intense people feel deeply both good and bad emotions. We all love to be loved, especially when youre dating someone new. So if a certain food genuinely gives you pleasure and makes you feel good (and be honest with yourself here) then if you crave it for Gods sake eat it, because youre probably not ready to give it up (just yet). Nothing comes out of your mouth that you dont mean. "Lighten up. As always, never hesitate to reach out to an expert like a child psychologist or mental health professional if you feel like your childs intensity could be a symptom of a more significant issue. 4. They calm my nervous system and mummys piano temper tantrums have all but subsided. Understand that the person in front of you may be louder or seem more confident. Please usethe form on the right to contact me!I will get back to all enquiries as soon as possible.Soulla x. Youre a sucker for an epic romance, and you want one of your own. We harden by becoming stressed and embittered. Youre fully capable of keeping yourself entertained without anyone elses attention or admiration. Yes, kids can be a lot to handle. They might not even realize theyre getting too intense and appreciate you being honest with them. You are clinging to your closest connections. Often when someone is too intense, theyre too excitable or in the moment. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. When I diffuse them in my house they immediately whisk me away to chill out land. You want the fullest possible picture. Most people have heard of co-dependency, which normally refers to a dysfunctional and enmeshed relationship between two people, where one person is overly responsible for the others emotional world, creating a merger between the two psyches. Reviewed by Kaja Perina. It won't work Instead, roll with it: 1. You yearn to find the truth in all situations, even if its uncomfortable for you and those around you. In a bid to win air time, they might even adopt an aggressive tone, dominating the conversation by trying to talk you down. or innocent (anything that started with a 4). This can be because they are over-excitable, over-emotional, or subconsciously trying to dominate the conversation. This blog started as a way for me to share my recipes + culinary adventures, tips for vibrant health + happiness, thoughts on the latest developments in nutritional medicine + the low down on the Sydney wholefoods scene and beyond Hey sister, havent your heard or felt of a special kind of global movement that is afoot? 7: Choosing the right therapist is an essential tool for learning more about yourself, despite of your type of personality. Few people actually believe they're as forceful as they are. So you assume others want the same. These fields play to HSP strengths, including empathy, compassion, and intuitive awareness of others needs. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter. Ask them questions, for example, "What do you think is the wisest idea?". Softening into nutrition means for those of you who have not already done so, finding a connection with the food you are eating: being vitally concerned with the source and processing of it and learning how to properly and lovingly prepare it (rather than exclusively outsourcing this integrally feminine role). Our mission is to empower people through comprehensive knowledge, and skills to achieve their full potential. Boston ferns (these absorb moisture), Peace Lilies (these siphon off VOCs), Sansevieria aka Mother in Laws Tongue (a potent oxygen producer at night), and Fiddle Leaf Fig trees (which look freakin amazing) are what I have mostly filled my house with. Being hard, it seems, it not something that the women of today want to be. That is the goal, after all. You have a lot of inner drive (or fire). Most of us at some point in our lives have had relationships with people who leave us feeling utterly drained of energy or yuk inside, or we sense that they are trying to drag us down, or belittle us at every chance. Emotional intensity occurs with people who feel things differently they almost absorb the emotions of the people around them, which helps them feel as if they can relate to others. Instead, you value your family and friendships at a deeper level to satisfy your need for a deeper understanding and level of intimacy with those around you. Because you like to understand things at a deeper level, you are naturally curious. This blue light interrupts our circadian rhythm by suppressing the sleep hormone melatonin, thus thwarting our ability to fall asleep as the body thinks its still daytime. Lachlan Brown You dont take long to open up. Both make the world better than it would be without them. They simply can't control themselves any more than a laid-back person can make themselves driven. May your growing self-knowledge enrich and strengthen all your relationships. You see them for who they truly are. And youd do anything for them. Intensity is all about emotion, and if you feel that someone is too intense, then youre probably uncomfortable with how emotionally open they are. They even love gossiping and talking about other people behind their back. True, you might also be brooding over something. To be an intense person, you are likely to have some of the above emotions, desires, and behaviors. Walking, rock scrambling, rock climbing, yoga, dancing and fascia release suit me perfectly. Here are a few things you might be wondering: 5: Show care and love for them despite their problematic, Interacting with a soft-spoken, calm, and a collected person can be challenging. Marty Nemko, Ph.D., is a career and personal coach based in Oakland, California, and the author of 10 books. In humans, the theory that light exposure at night increases breast cancer risk leads to specific predictions that are being tested epidemiologically: evidence has accumulated on risk in shift workers, risk in blind women, and the impact of sleep duration on risk. You dont bother to sugar coat things, and see your honesty as a positive trait about you. Method 3: The People who enrich me no end. Even if exposure to artificial light does not effect your ability to fall asleep, and hence you think you dont need to protect yourself with blue blockers and amber lights, then think again. My emotions are more on an even keel with fewer lows. You ask a LOT of questions because you have a deep and overwhelming desire to understand things, ideas, and people to their core. 2. This might be because they are racing through topics and questions that are hard to keep up with. You prefer And they can not use sense even trying. It requires a firm to resolve and get to the finish line when things get rough. In this article, youll learn how to soften an intense personality with Seven clever tricks, but first, you need to know the answers to some essential questions, so keep reading! If they talk over you or dont give you sufficient time to engage in a conversation, theyre missing the normal social cues of conversing. It takes number 1 priority over my evenings and unless Im health coaching or running a workshop Im pretty much in bed with my kids at 8pm. If you feel overwhelmed by the conversations you are having, its ok, theres no need to get serious all the time and discuss topics youre uncomfortable with. Simply put, it is because independent research shows time and again that they are of the highest quality the world over. An intense personality may also mean that you jump to the big questions quickly. , read more on our site. Or you may be that person and wish you could be more fun and social. Softening into nutrition means that I dont beat myself up if I overeat nutritious food on occasion. You need to be able to trust that a person you share a relationship with will be there for you for the small things as well as the big. 3. As a person with a deep personality, you expect others to give as you give, but youll soon be disappointed when you find that many people are only deep on the surface and that it is difficult for people to keep up the ruse over time. This means that people will be always in your dust. Intense people are proud of their forceful personalities, even if it makes some people uncomfortable. Its why people both love and hate you. Being an intimidating man can be especially tough to handle out in public it requires a lot of work. Here are some of the most obvious character traits of an intense person. SOULLA CHAMBERLAIN2021. And loving it. Intense is often a word that often comes up when describing children. These characteristics may benefit you and your journey of personal development and change. Nowadays, Im very precious about my sleep. This isnt necessarily a bad thing; its healthy to be able to access your emotions. I would roll my eyes. I could smash out more blogs, have published 5 cook books by now and have umpteen online programs if I squeezed an extra few hours of work into my evenings but I have chosen, instead, to sleep. You are unconcerned with what others think of you. Its usually not a cause for concern, although you may need to adjust your parenting approach to better align with your childs intensity. Everyone has their own pace, but busy schedule or not, its important to carve out some down time. Its hard to feel soft and feminine when you are feeling stressed or unhappy with your work. Your intensity doesnt always manifest as aggression, but you dont back down from a fight or an argument. Like food, not all essential oils are the same! If you are going through something extremely stressful and already doing lots of functional movement through day to day life (like setting up a retail shop with 13 staff just sayin), then frequent and intense exercise will simply be an extra stressor on your already stressed out body. One of my besties, Melissa Ambrosini (self-love guru and best selling author) has other beautiful ideas about how to tap into your feminine (and ergo soften) in one of her blog posts here. When you view and treat your body like a temple, and come from a place of self-love and self-respect, then you dont abuse your body. It also means youre more of an open book. You may be curious to learn more after dealing with intense personalities at the office or an organization you frequent. To answer the next two, you might be extra to those who are less intense. Last Updated February 16, 2023, 2:53 pm. Softening the lighting in my house at night with amber lights. Theres way too much to learn about the world and you only get life once. Ask them questions, for example, "What do After all, what is wrong with having a strong personality? Youre genuine and fearless in expressing yourself. While intense personalities may turn some people off, many more people want to learn to communicate with them better. When you greet complete strangers in this way your approach is infectious and it spreads a lighter, softer and happier energy throughout the world. With these kinds of people, its best to try to avoid engaging in any kind of debate or argument. "Excuse me. Unwittingly, through these soft lights, my nervous system started softening as I started getting used to this visual softness. Soft-hearted personalities are emotional which means that anyone who is angry with them or says something mean about them, can hurt them easily. Where theres a will theres a way. For example, someone who was easy to get along with could become irritable. Just as your words are direct and expressive, so is your gaze. Its hard to feel soft, feminine and open when you are feeling stressed, belittled, violated, disrespected or drained. Dont let someone have too much of your focus and remember that you are entitled to some me time.. It means never going to those extremes. Besides, you don't want to get on their bad side. How did this happen? You only want to spend time with people who actually add to your life. And when Im about to enter into something I find rather stressful - like sitting through a piano practice with my kids- the conversation might go somethinglike Mummy is going to diffuse some lavender oil this afternoon because mummy really doesnt feel like screaming her lungs out at you. And for some reason, the oils really work. Your passion leads you to places that few people dare to go. A common warning sign is the feeling that your relationship is unbalanced. We hope you find this article helpful! Intense personalities can be difficult to live with. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. Dont be too offended if people dont want to answer your questions though, most people will be uneasy about such a deep knowledge seeker.

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